So I have a confession to make... I am a... well a hopeless romantic. There, I said it. I am a hopeless romantic. I love reading CLEAN romance novels. (please guys I am not dirty, I just like reading about love that works out) It's the same reason I love the movie Shall We Dance, with Richard Gere. He loves his wife and they almost get a divorce and then they discover the romance again! But I don't really like reading about older romances, too old and I picture my grandparents... and that's just weird...
But here's the catch, I have never had a boyfriend... I love reading about love and hearing about love, and watching mushy chick-flicks, but when some guy starts to show interest in me, I freak out. You know like the Runaway Bride... I think that I am a lot like her, only with boyfriends, in the sense that I have gotten close to having a boyfriend several times, but then at the last second I bolt.
I think this has to do with this idea that I have had for a long time... about true love... I have never really found a guy that I would want to make that kind of commitment to. And I know what some people would say to that. That sometimes you just need to go for it and live life. But it's not that I have never liked guys, I have. I have had many a crush, but they never amounted to anything. And sometimes when they started to amount to something, just like all the times before, I bolted. I realized that what I thought I wanted wasn't what I really wanted at all. And I haven't found it yet. I try not to search... a watched pot and all that. But it gets hard sometimes when I see my friends fall in and out of love... but that's the thing... are they really falling in and out of "love"? And what is it that they feel that makes them want to start a relationship with someone? Not that I have never felt strongly about someone... is it just that moment when they can't help it? Like not wanting to wait even a moment to see that person, and getting butterflies (good butterflies) right before you see them? Smiling every time you just think of that person, and wanting to know what that person has to say... even if it's something like... "this sandwich tastes great", respecting that persons opinion so much that you ask them about everything under the sun just to hear what they will say about it. Is it like that?? Are they really falling in love? Or is it just a lucky crush? Do most people need someone there, anyone, and it doesn't matter who?
Because I want the first one... i want to feel butterflies and get excited to see that person, even after 25 years of marriage. I want to respect him so much that I ask his opinion on everything. I want to hear his voice and feel content. And eventually, after 50 years of marriage I want him to be the BEST friend I have ever had. I want him to know me so much that he could tell someone else what I was thinking.
Unfortunately I do understand that life and especially marriage is HARD. I know that there will be times where I will want to be left alone, moments where I will think, what have I gotten myself into? Moments where we fight and argue. But those moments are what make you stronger. Doing everything that you can in those moments to FIGHT with all your might for that friendship. Going to Hell and back just to prove your love to that person. Using that motto of "never give in, never surrender!"
I know that life is not like the movies, that things don't work out perfectly, that you don't always have the right words to say to someone at the exact moment you need to say something. But I still believe in true love, a truer love than anyone can ever really imagine... something to work towards... and that is why I have never ever really committed, because as cheesy as it sounds... I am still looking for my best friend... my hero.
Well now that that little embarrassing display of ridiculous thought and silly hopeless ideas is over... I can shamefully bow my head and walk away...just walk away.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I have heard something VERY frightening today...something that made me SERIOUSLY worried. It was a video made by some hippie group in North Carolina. It's about "imagining" Barack Obama as our President...this may not seem very scary to some of you, but this video is about imagining him as President and they are calling him the "messiah" and the "savior"! This man is just a representative of America, he doesn't "save" anyone! He is there as a representative of us, we the American people, he, Barack Obama, is working FOR us!
This man is not what people in the media, in Hollywood, and in other very liberal places of the world, portray. He is hiding a LOT of what he really is. He talks smooth, and uses nice words, to make what he is giving you look better than it really is. It reminds me of a saying that I heard once... he is "A wolf in sheep's clothing"
Now that I got that out of my system...I have one more thing that really just irks me.... Proposition 8. The Proposition that is being fought over in California. First let me just clarify, I am for this Proposition, I am for it 100%. One thing that I just don't understand though is why some people just don't get it. This Proposition does not take away Gay rights. What is happening right now, is that the far left want to re-define marriage. Marriage does NOT need to be re-defined. But that's it. This does not mean that gays can't be married, because gays have rights as much as the next person, but this is about re-defining something that has been the foundation of our society since the beginning of our Great Nation. The thing about it is, is that we as Americans must do what is best for the WHOLE Nation, and not just a small portion or group. And that is what gays are, a very small group of Americans who believe something... but we cannot change our whole foundation because of the believe of one small group. Contrary to what the media, the school system, and Hollywood would have you believe gays are not common, at least not common enough to change EVERYTHING for them. And making gays common is what I think they are trying to do. Now before you go and tell me that I am crazy, just watch this video that I am going to post and then I will inform you of what I think of it after.
This video is about teaching gay sexuality in the school system, this story and what lengths these schools will go to just irks me to no end... but enjoy the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLHWBWSaW
Okay since you have watched this video, does this not make you sick?? It did with me. These people are so DESPERATE to have their agenda pushed that they are going to LITTLE kids and pushing this CRAP on them. Little kids, who haven't even learned how to vote, let alone know anything about the issues. They are young and don't know for themselves if something is right or wrong. At least something this complex. And they get fed these stories in school, and wonder... no they don't even wonder, they just believe. And that is what is so scary. That these little kids have such faith in adults, they will believe what you tell them. And you tell them at this age that gay marriage is right that being gay is okay, and they will believe you. Being gay is not something that I agree with, if you can't tell, and I think that gay marriage is wrong and re-defining marriage is WRONG. But you can be gay, if you want to be, and you can be married to someone of the same sex, you have that right as an American. But don't push your believes on our children! I don't understand why more parents aren't stepping up and say "Like Hell are you going to teach my child this crap!" As parents they have a right to know what is being taught to their child! This is NOT the schools place to be teaching kids about this, especially young kids. In my opinion they also shouldn't be teaching sex ed. But that's another blog for another time.
In this video the woman says that she thought they were going to tell her when they were teaching her kids this stuff. But NO, they didn't and you want to know why? Because they don't want the parents to get smart and say that they can't teach them this. They don't want you to know because they don't want you to interfere with what they tell YOUR child is right or wrong.
Okay now I will get to my first idea, and that is that this is creating a generation of kids who will go their whole lives believing that this stuff is "normal" that it's okay to be gay. And they are telling them young because then they have them...these children will be so confused that they wont know which way is up.
You got to hand it to them though, and by them I mean FAR lefts and Marxists and socialists. They were cunning in the way that they planned this... they were cunning and they knew exactly what to do. They knew that if they caught these kids when they were younger that they would have them the rest of their lives. God help us all....
This man is not what people in the media, in Hollywood, and in other very liberal places of the world, portray. He is hiding a LOT of what he really is. He talks smooth, and uses nice words, to make what he is giving you look better than it really is. It reminds me of a saying that I heard once... he is "A wolf in sheep's clothing"
Now that I got that out of my system...I have one more thing that really just irks me.... Proposition 8. The Proposition that is being fought over in California. First let me just clarify, I am for this Proposition, I am for it 100%. One thing that I just don't understand though is why some people just don't get it. This Proposition does not take away Gay rights. What is happening right now, is that the far left want to re-define marriage. Marriage does NOT need to be re-defined. But that's it. This does not mean that gays can't be married, because gays have rights as much as the next person, but this is about re-defining something that has been the foundation of our society since the beginning of our Great Nation. The thing about it is, is that we as Americans must do what is best for the WHOLE Nation, and not just a small portion or group. And that is what gays are, a very small group of Americans who believe something... but we cannot change our whole foundation because of the believe of one small group. Contrary to what the media, the school system, and Hollywood would have you believe gays are not common, at least not common enough to change EVERYTHING for them. And making gays common is what I think they are trying to do. Now before you go and tell me that I am crazy, just watch this video that I am going to post and then I will inform you of what I think of it after.
This video is about teaching gay sexuality in the school system, this story and what lengths these schools will go to just irks me to no end... but enjoy the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLHWBWSaW
Okay since you have watched this video, does this not make you sick?? It did with me. These people are so DESPERATE to have their agenda pushed that they are going to LITTLE kids and pushing this CRAP on them. Little kids, who haven't even learned how to vote, let alone know anything about the issues. They are young and don't know for themselves if something is right or wrong. At least something this complex. And they get fed these stories in school, and wonder... no they don't even wonder, they just believe. And that is what is so scary. That these little kids have such faith in adults, they will believe what you tell them. And you tell them at this age that gay marriage is right that being gay is okay, and they will believe you. Being gay is not something that I agree with, if you can't tell, and I think that gay marriage is wrong and re-defining marriage is WRONG. But you can be gay, if you want to be, and you can be married to someone of the same sex, you have that right as an American. But don't push your believes on our children! I don't understand why more parents aren't stepping up and say "Like Hell are you going to teach my child this crap!" As parents they have a right to know what is being taught to their child! This is NOT the schools place to be teaching kids about this, especially young kids. In my opinion they also shouldn't be teaching sex ed. But that's another blog for another time.
In this video the woman says that she thought they were going to tell her when they were teaching her kids this stuff. But NO, they didn't and you want to know why? Because they don't want the parents to get smart and say that they can't teach them this. They don't want you to know because they don't want you to interfere with what they tell YOUR child is right or wrong.
Okay now I will get to my first idea, and that is that this is creating a generation of kids who will go their whole lives believing that this stuff is "normal" that it's okay to be gay. And they are telling them young because then they have them...these children will be so confused that they wont know which way is up.
You got to hand it to them though, and by them I mean FAR lefts and Marxists and socialists. They were cunning in the way that they planned this... they were cunning and they knew exactly what to do. They knew that if they caught these kids when they were younger that they would have them the rest of their lives. God help us all....
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Hello again Internet space... I know it has been awhile and I apologize for that. My life has been like a crazy eight year old's birthday party, things going on all the time, and some things that are no good. I will give you the Readers Digest version. I registered for school at UVU and applied for BYU-Hawaii, My sister had twins, my birthday, my Dad's birthday, my parents anniversary, my friends bridal shower, my cousins bridal shower, my sisters baby shower, my cousins wedding, moving (and that is no small task, believe me!), helping my other sister move, buying school books, getting financial aid from the school, buying parking passes, getting booted, plus the homework that started the second school started.
And so as you can clearly see I was a busy little girl these past three months. But here are some cool updates from this craziness. I am now 21 years old, I have two adorable nieces! I have some really awesome roommates! I got A's on my last 2 English papers, my sister and best friend comes home in exactly 43 days, 6 hours, 58 minute, and 12 seconds!!! Yes I know the exact seconds! But one of the most exciting things is I got accepted to BYU-Hawaii!!!!! That means in January I will be moving to Hawaii and living there for four months!!!
This actually turned out to be a very boring blog so I will stop the torture and end this blasted blog. So there you go, my life (or at least the last three months) in 30 seconds!
And so as you can clearly see I was a busy little girl these past three months. But here are some cool updates from this craziness. I am now 21 years old, I have two adorable nieces! I have some really awesome roommates! I got A's on my last 2 English papers, my sister and best friend comes home in exactly 43 days, 6 hours, 58 minute, and 12 seconds!!! Yes I know the exact seconds! But one of the most exciting things is I got accepted to BYU-Hawaii!!!!! That means in January I will be moving to Hawaii and living there for four months!!!
This actually turned out to be a very boring blog so I will stop the torture and end this blasted blog. So there you go, my life (or at least the last three months) in 30 seconds!